I don’t want to say this is the worst bar in the world because I’ve never been to places like Bangladesh, Rwanda, or Haiti. But I can say with 100% certainty that this place is, by far, the worst bar in Boston. I’ve been to crackhouses where I’ve felt safer. Also, that had less crack. Seriously, at no point did I feel like I wasn’t about to be stabbed by the locals. Remember the scene in Star Wars when Luke Skywalker walks into the bar and the two aliens attack him before Obie Wan Canobie steps in and cuts the guys arm off? Whitey’s makes that place look like Cheers. 

The clientele was a collection of mobsters, wannabe mobsters, transvestites, addicts, punks, criminals, pimps, and fugitives of the law. And the men there were twice as bad. 

People in the know tell me this place has gone downhill since the original owner – Whitey McGrail died. And he was shot one day while bartending. So, apparently this place has “gotten much worse” since the days when customers would walk in and shoot the bartender.  Good times. 

I could go on, but I think my review might get kind of negative after this point.”

-Johnny Z

If you’re looking for signature cocktails decorated with umbrellas and fruit, sleek furnishings and modern décor, you are in the wrong place. Whitey’s gets its stars by being a great dive bar! There’s writing all over the walls. Everything looks like it needs to be cleaned. People bring in their own food. Everyone seems to know each other. If you’re insecure, you might not feel safe there. You can get shitfaced on $30, though. Inexpensive drinks + a heavy-handed bartender = good time! I’m sure my friend and I stuck out like a sore thumb, but we loved it and would go back in a heartbeat.”

-Lisa G

This is my favorite bar in America.

Moving from Ireland to Boston in 2008, Whitey’s was one of the first bars I ventured into when I turned 21, and was an instant favorite. The staff and the locals are all wild characters, you’ll get hustled in pool and get nice and drunk on super cheap drinks. The Christmas lights in the corner are up all year, and everyone seems to know everyone in there. Danny Kelly, the boss, is an absolute legend and a gent. I was even involved in shooting a short movie there over a weekend in Dec 2009, which, needless to say, was a riot. 

I recommend this bar to every person I know travelling to Boston, telling them it’s my favorite bar in the country, and I’ve lived in 4 states, and visited 26, so you know I’ve done some research!”

-Kevin S

I LOVE THIS BAR. I love everything about this bar. I love that this bar makes most dive bars I’ve visited look classy. I love the regulars and their circa 1983 windbreaker fashion. I love the Law and Order reruns on the TV. I love the regulars, like the guy who said my headband make me look like Michael Flately, and wanted me to dance on the bar. I love the jukebox and everything that comes out of it. I love that there’s no name on the bar. I love the regulars and how they cheered when we ran through the door, mid 3 legged race. I love the free pool, and the bottle of baby powder marked “not for your ass.” I love the regulars, like grandma in the corner wearing 2lbs of makeup and 10lbs of costume jewelery. I love the microwave in the corner, for BYOM (bring-your-own-munchies). I love the cheaper-than-dirt drinks. I love the no nonsense bartender. Have I mentioned that I love this bar?”

-Christopher M.